Girls and Guys: Is There Such Thing As Platonic Friendship?

The age old question — can guys and girls really be “best friends?” The truth—not a chance. It is only a matter of time before one of the friends wants more or a kiss happens one drunken night.

Take it from me; I have tons of experience in this department. And my theory is this:

A guy and girl can be “just friends” but when they start considering themselves “best friends” watch out! At this point they either: care about each other more than they let up or have had sex at least once. And if that hasn’t happened yet, it will.

Hanging out with the opposite sex all the time (going to dinner, running errands, etc.) will eventually get to that point. And the funny part is, they mask their true feelings for one another so people and themselves can’t put pressure on the relationship.
And you probably know two “friends” like this. They spend all their free time together, but never call it a date and it’s because they are scared to admit their true feelings. There is no way that they are truly just “best friends.” It is just an excuse to hang out together without people giving them shit.

And I can back this theory up with experience.
When I think of the past couple guys I’ve dated, we started out innocent– as “friends.” And I spent so much time with them, that I started calling them a “best friend” just to avoid putting pressure on the situation. Deep down, I knew I liked them. But I’m me and since I never like to commit to anything, especially feelings about love or love itself, I played the relationship off as just that…hanging out with a “best friend.”
My feeling is this — you can only be “best friends” for so long until one of you thinks there is more. Whether or not they decide to tell you is their choice. But here are some signs to look for if you think your “best friend” is crushing:

  • He comes to your house during family events- example: birthdays, barbecues, holidays etc.
  • You go out and he pays- not once but all the time.
  • You spend time watching movies at his place- we all know what door that opens.
  • He does little favors for you- like picks you up or drops you off as needed.
  • You sleep over and gradually move from his couch to sharing his bed.

So,what to do if you suspect your man and his bff are secretly more? Get the hell out because 10 out of 10 times your intuition is correct. If you are the bff and want more, tell him. There is no gray area—you either like each other or are with each other out of convenience and companionship. Decide and make a move or move on.

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2 Comments

  • Linds says:

    I completely agree. In opposite sex friendships there’s always a time where both people start to wonder if their relationship could be more. It might not be at the same time, but its inevitable. If your guys has a girl best friend chances are he’s had (or has) more than friendly feelings for her.

  • Liz says:

    Sad but true girls and take it from someone who has experienced it first hand:)

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