He Wants To Change You

Why do guys insist on changing a girl once they are comfortable in the relationship? They fell in love with one girl, then all of a sudden, want to mold her into someone else. We all know that people don’t change and trying to make them do so is just a waste of time. So why do we try so hard to please that one person who is telling us that our lifestyle isn’t good enough for them?

We don’t like hearing negative things about ourselves and when someone points out our so called “flaws,” they make us feel like we need to recognize them as that. So, while we are apologizing and saying we will do better next time, we are secretly rolling our eyes and thinking, “Seriously? Are we really doing this again?”

We have always been told that if you love someone, you should love them for everything they are– flaws and all. He met you, liked you and fell in love for a reason — actually multiple reasons. So why is he trying to change you now?

He knew who and what you were before the relationship so he should know what he got himself into, right? After all, that is how you caught his eye. He should never ask you to change and you should never feel pressured to do so.

Do not mold for him. Do not let him push and bully you into changing.

If you were social person before the relationship, be social. If you were a flirt before the relationship, continue to be so but tone it down and make good judgments.

Do not conform for him. Do not change your lifestyle because he says it should be different. He should compliment your life, not hinder you from living. And what he doesn’t understand is that if he did accept the real you, you’d change without even knowing. Without him constantly on your back and pointing out your flaws, you’d probably think the world of him. You’d probably love him with all of your heart and you would probably want to be with him forever.

I’ve found that the most successful relationships are those where the couple accepts each other. They know each others past and do not judge. They can talk about their experiences and grow together because they feel comfortable knowing that they are truly loved for who and what they are.

I’d like to eventually find someone like that. Maybe if I do, my entire attitude on love and relationships will change. Everyone wants to be accepted and find someone who will love them for everything that they are — this includes all of the bad stuff too.

No one is perfect. You are who you are and that should be good enough for him. If he says it’s not, then tell him to find someone without a backbone. You are good enough as is and if he can’t accept that he’s an idiot.

No related posts.

5 Comments

  • CBrennan says:

    How many girls have we seen do this? Shoot, how many times in ONE relationship did I try to conform? You hit this one head on; it is impossible to change who you are AND be happy in a relationship like that.

    I can tell you that it is so much easier to be in a relationship where you don’t have to change one thing about yourself…You never have to think twice about the decisions you make because he understands you and your thought process.

    And you rarely have to say SORRY for being yourself.

  • Liz says:

    This is a prime example of why the divorce rate is so high!!! We all want to find that one perfect person to spend the rest of your life with, that you would give up everything and anything just to make that happen.

    Coming from someone who has grown up with positive and influential relationships all around, I can make a promise to all women that there is someone out there that will love every part of you even the bad. You must be patient and picky:)

    P.S You arent going to find love unless you love yourself, this means you have to be confident with the person you truelly are. I know this sounds sappy but its true:/

  • melp says:

    Ladies….you are both dead on! You should never have to change who you are as a person for someone else. I mean…of course there are certain little things that annoy people…but they should be just that…LITTLE. It is ok to be mindful of certain quirks that make us who we are…..but be who you are….and if that so called “special” person can’t handle who you are (ALL of who you are)…screw him/her! 🙂

  • Namrata says:

    soo true, its lyk u hv been someone for past 22-23 years of your life, and suddenly someone special of yours after years of association with you finds it hard to keep up with your witty side, suddenly he starts feeling you have changed that too for bad…i have been in a relationship for past 3 n a half years…was aboubt to get married this year oct, but i dont think thats gonna happen anymore…
    my guy has suddenly strtd feeling that i dont respect him if i in jolly mood unintentionally say something he his family for everyone it becomes hard to bear my presence, i just dont undrstnd why is that guys want grl frnds to chnge over nyt into wives???
    all they gv u is “dis wont work lyk dis…u need to change need to adjust” dat all for u wanted him to strt tkin his finances seriously to mk investments later for our secured future…
    Bullshit!
    honestly, i agreed to chng jst evrythng and still whn asked, his reply ws i need tym …i have to go out for sailing (he’s into mechnt navy) on monday il tell u bfr dat…GOD!!! now u think i or for dat case ny1 shud tk it???ofcrs nt…i have called off things frm my end rest whn i dnt matter to him he shudnt matter to me aswel…ITS ALWAYS CONVINENT TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT IS TO BE DONE…BUT ITS ZILLION TIMES HARDER TO DO THE SAME… Love vanishes after certain time..but what you r will alwys b thr in u..
    if he cn love for dat n nw want u too chng d same its better to chnge him..who knws wat he demands nxt..
    wish u all d very best for ur future 🙂

    • Whitney says:

      You too! Hang in there. If it’s meant to be it will somehow work out. And if not, remember — everything happens for a reason. It’s a corny saying but after years of experience I’ve found it to be true.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial